Three Grains

Dear Marissa,

do you ever look back and think about your past failures? Do you ever count all your dreams then realize that out of those dreams, only a few have come true? Have you ever thought that after all your talent, your knowledge, there isn’t much you have been able to do with your life and your abilities? I do. I should confess that out of seven greatest dreams and opportunities in my life, I just scored two. It always dawns on me that I am underachieving, I am not living the best version of myself and I continue to fail people around me especially mother, who have high hopes in me.

Marissa I am not much of a go- getter. My approach to achievement in life is rather laid-back. However I am the type that often likes to find peace of mind in achieving my goals. These two situations contrast because in life if you want to achieve, you have to go- get if not, forget about it.

Ghosts of the dreams that I murdered won’t leave me alone. I am constantly disturbed and ruminating about what I should have done right. I tell you that ghosts of one’s dead dreams have senses Marissa. They smell new opportunities like fresh meat. When they see some opportunity in sight for you they appear to spook you, to tell you that this new thing that you are up to is also going to fail. Sometimes you believe them. I have believed them.

However, I also believe that after failing so much, the mind will open to a new awareness which my mind has. This awareness came to me one day in a form of a simple Akan proverb.

“Nea mmoa no adi k) no, ma w)n ni nk), na dea aka 3kyiri no na y3 b)ho ban”

Difficult yeah? But it’s old wisdom very relevant for today. I am looking for its English equivalent but directly translating, it means:
“Whatever it is that the animals have eaten, let them, for it is what they left behind that you should focus on protecting or guarding”

Marissa, take it as you have ten grains of corn which you are drying out in the sun to plant them later. Then you find a cock eating those grains so you charge angrily towards it and it flees. There’s nothing you can do to get back the grains from the animal. However, if you find out that it left three, you pick them up and safeguard them. Grandma taught me how to plant corn by the way and I had to dry them before sowing them and of course, her chickens would come at the grains. That’s why I used this scenario.

“Whatever it is that the animals have eaten, let them, for it is what they left behind that you should focus on protecting or guarding”

So this awareness is what I want to share with you. Whatever wrong that has occurred in the past, let it be. You can’t do anything to change many of them. Now, the present, is what you truly have. The present is your own treasure. The grains that you save from the cock of the past, is what you should dedicate your present to. The harvest of tomorrow is dependent on saved grains of today.

The ghosts of dead dreams won’t leave you alone. They have never left me in peace even after this awareness like the cock will never leave grains drying outside alone. However like a powerful prayer, I recite this proverb in Twi all the time to ward off my personal demons. And guess what Marissa, they flee, they lose their power and then I become empowered. I know that there’s absolutely nothing I can do about the past, nothing. But the present however, is oh so mine. I can do whatever it is that I want with it. I see me raising a plantation with my three grains that I was blessed to find. Many people have totally self-destruct. The animals, perhaps, took everything but even they like a tree totally axed down, have hopes of sprouting as the book of Job said. I go be, Marissa, i go be.

Gurl I hope this proverb gives you peace like it does to me. Will write next week. This weekend I am planning on treating myself with my favorite things and my favourite people. Do same if you are game. Spend sometime however thinking about what to do with them proverbial ‘three grains’ too.

xoxo