I wanted to be Miss Malaika

by Sandister Tei

“I went into a deep soliloquy. I didn’t want to be on TV
under the scrutiny of 1000s. I was afraid I’d make a fool
outta myself. I cared what people thought or would think about me. “

Dear Marissa,

So I wanted to be Miss Malaika. I think 3 years ago. I wanted the title yes, but I wanted the car and GHC2400 cash prize more. That’s so unlike me yeah? But I had suddenly become ambitious.
One fine day, I entered the pageant. I survived the first audition, I made it to the first thirty or forty (I don’t quite remember), I didn’t make it to the final 16 entering the house.

Before I entered the competition, I went into a deep soliloquy. I didn’t want to be on TV under the scrutiny of 1000s. I was afraid I’d make a fool outta myself. I cared what people thought or would think about me. And oh, I couldn’t walk in heels. Marissa, Let what people will say and think about you get to you, it is difficult to pretend it doesn’t. However don’t let them get in your way of doing something.
I considered the car and the money and how my mum would be proud if I made it. I thought of what I stood to gain. Marissa, always focus on the goal.

So for the first minute that I heard I didn’t make the cut I was not amused. However, I didn’t crawl out of the place. I walked out, head up. I had done something that so many people fear to do and many others will never have the guts to do- chase a dream. Marissa, the more difficult things you encounter, the more everything else seems easy. Afterward, my self- esteem shot up, my ability to communicate shot up, my dress sense improved, my approach to life changed. I asked myself, ‘Is there anything I can’t do?’ I learnt so many things there and thereof, I had become fearless, fearless in a productive way. Mother said, ‘I don’t know what it is that they did to you there, but I want you to go back there next year.’ Then we laughed.

Currently I see so many opportunities for people. Spirited actor, Vodafone icons, Stars of The Future and others. Then I start thinking about the Malaika call for audition that I saw back in the day. Marissa there are so many people out there who want these dreams but the guts, the audacity, the will, the volition, that empowered attitude which screams confidence and fearlessness in the face of pursuing dreams, I am sorry many don’t have it. There are more human chickens than there are real ones, I tell you girl. People are afraid to fail, they are afraid of how they will feel when they fail and most disgusting part is the fear of what the worried observers will say and think about them. That is why I luuuuurve good old Konadu Agyeman Rawlings for her guts. If some people had half the guts she has, dedicated to their dream, life will be better for them. Marissa doing and failing and knowing that you did but failed is better than sitting and wondering what will or would have happened if you tried. Many of us are poor in spirit because we don’t hunt and we don’t contest or compete.

Atta Mills had to try, Irene Logan had to try, Sarkodie had to try, Beyonce had to try, Kofi Annan had to try, Obama had to try, Zukerberg and Jesus had to try and even God had to try. Mind you, except for God maybe, all these others had audiences looking on. Audiences they could have chosen to be afraid of and hence, be crippled into inaction.

Mari, give yourself that liberty; liberty to try. Shake off that pride, that pomposity often mistaken to be timidity and dare to ‘make a fool’ out of yourself. Dare to put yourself out there and try.
Malaika is not the only thing I have tried to do in which I couldn’t grab the holy grail. I know what these attempts have done for me and I can promise you that trying yields two- way- winning and losing. Winning gets you the dream and the experience and losing gets you the experience without the prize. But for those who don’t try at all,they have nothing.

We left secondary school long time ago. I still remember the peeps who sat at the back of the Assembly Hall, Aggrey Chapel and in class who wouldn’t and couldn’t participate in anything but would be the first to say ‘yawa’ and ‘you shy yourself’. Because of them, so many people wouldn’t dare do things they really wanted to do. Everybody wanted to look cool. But this is real life and time waits for no one. Talent doesn’t mind dying with you. Don’t fail to realise that the money, the cars, the success, the whatever, comes by pursuit. Woman got to eat, woman got to chill, woman got to have. We can’t make it by being afraid of observers.

Girl, I liberated myself a long time ago. Remember you are also at liberty to try if you haven’t already.

Go get.

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