Find Out and Don’t Forget
by Sandister Tei
In some days I will be a year older. I am reflective.
If someone is over 20 years and they still don’t know who they are, then they haven’t done right by themselves. I don’t mean those who have figured all out and are still living under their capacities and repeating old mistakes, but those who are totally clueless. It is sad because people know a lot about the person next to them but they don’t have answers to their own questions.
I have realized that knowing yourself doesn’t solve all your problems but it definitely solves the most important ones. Also the greatest of your strengths and your innate abilities which are going to make you matter in life and take you to the next level, are realised by knowing yourself. If not, you leave your success and your happiness to chance or coincidences. Luck as we know it doesn’t favour everyone and every time.
I pray to God and myself. Whiles I am imploring God to do what I can’t do, I implore myself to hold business down here on earth too. I remind myself always that I have figured myself out — beauty and ugliness, strengths and weaknesses. What I know about myself is my resource and power and I should not let it down. I know what pleases me, I know what doesn’t, I know who is good for me, I know who isn’t, I know when I am in love, I know when I am not, I can tell the difference between a habit and a one-off move. I have carved these observations in rock so I don’t forget or go and return another day to ask ‘Who am I?’ There is no time in life to keep asking that question over and over again. I try to avoid old mistakes, because I know how they paid off so why would I make them again? Do I hate myself that much? Going in circles makes life short. Some mistakes are sweet I know, but we ought not live like we are ignorant because we are not. 20 and above a woman or man ought to know something by now.
Marissa do you know why we pray and in the beginning we say all those wonderful praises and nice words to God? To please Him maybe but I realised this in one Common Room meeting in SOA House, Motown. A girl said, ‘We praise God and we worship him to remind ourselves of what he is to us.’ ‘He doesn’t need it much for He can command stones to sing to his praise if we don’t.’ ‘But when we do, what we already know about Him becomes reinforced.’ I learnt from that girl. Since then I always make it a point to remind myself of who I am. I write it down like school lessons and read them.
Sometimes I just “lose” it. But I revisit my thoughts on myself and get myself together. I haven’t attained perfection, but I manage weaknesses so I can have a happy life. Weaknesses that need to be managed or else I will fail at being the best of Sandister Tei I can be. Self- awareness is my enlightenment, it is my help, it’s our help.
What do you know about yourself? Do you do things for doing sake? Do you make informed personal decisions? Introspection and relentless self-discovery journeys will pay off. Get those and then REMEMBER and USE what you discover.
I used to think that unless God himself removes them, there were some thorns in my flesh that would never go. Now I know I rather don’t want them out just yet. They are not cutting me hard enough, because if they had to the point where I see blood, I’d give myself the liberty and power to pull them out.
Girl, find yourself out, and carve what you find into rock. The proverbial rock that shan’t be moved yeah? Refer often to remind yourself of who you are. Then cease to surprise yourself and also stop your demons one time. That makes you an asset unto yourself and others. You know your purpose, your importance, your value, where you are needed and where you aren’t, your relationships … everything becomes clear- cut.
Find out and don’t forget Marissa.