Love At First Sight?

by Sandister Tei

Dear Marissa,

have you had this experience where you see a man (or woman) and instantly you get feelings for them? You may even lock eyes for a while and smile at them. The feelings inside you are pleasant and suddenly you know you want this person. Love at first sight (L@FS).

Love at first sight? I don’t know about that. What then is it? It is possibilities at first sight (P@FS) and no one can convince me otherwise.

Marissa, the movies, telenovelas, fairy tales and novels have cast some love spell on people especially women. It has put many on autopilot and all caution is thrown to the wind upon meeting someone for the first time. However an average man of today is not Nicolás Bravo, the woman is not Aymar Lazcano and neither is life El Paraíso.

Some people might insist that they fell in love with their current partners at first sight and since they are still together, L@FS isn’t a bad idea after all. So, not all L@FSs lead to lasting relationships, but there are lasting relationships that spring from them. Right? But how is one to know if they will make it or not? That is why I insist that we see possibilities at first sight and not love at first sight.

In the moment when your head is spinning and there’s heat in some parts of your body just looking at this person, Marissa you ought to remember that there’s a lot that can happen between now and then. So, descend from cloud nine, hit the ground and approach your new found ‘love’ with wisdom and practicality. I wrote to you about trust and unrequited love the other day and these are part of the vital, vital, vital things you should lookout for before giving yourself. Don’t get me wrong, feelings are things you can’t easily erase but refusing to or not to nurture them is entirely up to you.

People who are young in this ‘game’ may not understand what I am saying but for men and women who have walked down the path of heartbreak, watching the ‘angel’ they found at first sight transform into something else after a while, they do. In that while, they gave freely things that the other person should have earned and worked for instead. These peeps can relate when I talk about P@FS.

Question love Marissa, question your feelings.

Finally I am reading the Alchemist by Paul Coelho and the main character Santiago, is a traveler, shepherd boy, who is now journeying through life and discovering it and it’s treasures. In the beginning he was in love with a merchant’s daughter but at the end of the day, it is Fatima the desert girl he ends up with.

Marissa, life is full of many Santiagos now discovering themselves and we could end up being the merchant’s daughter to them. People ‘use’ others, intentionally or not, before they finally find their Fatimas. I should say he  (Santiago) didn’t hurt the merchant’s daughter but it is worthy to note that she was just one of the people he had to meet before Fatima. I should also admit that he fell in love with Fatima at first sight but he went through with his mission in life before uniting with her. Their love was tried and then it became true. They never ruled out the possibility that they might not see each other again.

What is then our protection in life from people who are going to pass through our lives just like that? People that we already bond with but they have to move on without us?

Marissa, I am a Santiago myself. I know there is a ‘Fatima’ out there waiting for me. Currently ‘she’ is not here so why not have a good time before ‘she’ arrives? I have a few cases of L@FS waiting but I don’t wanna hurt anybody, I can get hurt too. Yet I can’t help it, I love the attention, and the qualities I want in men, are shared among all of them so who do I choose? For the past two weeks I have been thinking about seeing my favorite two at the same time and I want the ones that are world’s apart lest I get caught. However I am not that kind of girl. The only way for these lovely men to escape unscathed is to see me as a P@FS. They can’t ‘love’ me just yet and I can’t also ‘love’ them just yet . . . I don’t even have feelings for them . . . Dear God what am I doing? Many people are going through these uncertainties  and if you should fall for someone like that, now journeying to their Fatimas, the chances of getting hurt are so high.

Marissa, this topic brings back memories, it’s better I stop writing here. However the message is, unless you have some agenda yourself, start seeing L@FS as P@FS. You may never know. You might not be ready for them and so can they also not be ready for you.

It’s P@FS baby!

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