by Sandister Tei
I am Vodafone – Circle Branch bound on an official assignment but I tell you my mind isn’t on the task ahead. Where is it? It is on my love interest, the taken man I told you about last time. Come on now don’t roll your eyes at me, you know you love hearing me talk about him.
What now? Well I am on the threshhold of falling out of love with him judging from what I know about myself. I won’t deny that everyday comes with relief and release from my misery. I am making progress and I don’t intend to spoil that. But Marissa today, I asked myself this question, “Sandister have you done all you can to let this man know that you sincerely want him and if you haven’t won’t you look back with regret?
Suddenly I am thinking of this Grey’s Anatomy episode where Meridith Grey controversially went to “Mcdreamy” and said:
OK, Here it is. Your choice, it’s simple. Her or me. And I’m sure she’s really great. But … I love you. In a really, really big…pretend to like your taste in music… let you eat the last piece of cheesecake… hold a radio over my head outside your bedroom window… unfortunate way that makes me hate you…love you. So pick me. Choose me. Love me.
I also think his girl is great for him and that’s why he doesn’t want to leave her. But then Marissa I am also on the verge of going to him to tell him:
to pick me,
to choose me,
to love me.
Then I think of my mother’s advice she gave me about men. She said that, “A man may entertain a lot of women, but he secretly knows who he wants among them and nothing the others will do can change that.” Actually I share this philosophy that’s why I dislike women who go about attacking their rivals. If the man wants you, he will choose you. What’s this about forcing your way in?
Right now I am trying to be careful not to sound desperate but at the same time, salvage what is left of an opportunity to build a life with someone I sincerely care about. It’s not about that yucky troublesome passion anymore but the silent yet steadfast, calculated but sincere and deep affection that I am letting go that scares me.
But what if he says no? Again?
Now I’m asking myself, “Dzifa Selali, are the men in Ghana finished? Tsoo?!”
But you see Marissa, this is not about being desperate, if not my ego will stop me one time. But it’s about knowing that I am doing everything I can to “fight” for this man. I will look back with no regrets that I didn’t. The heavens won’t say, “You got your chance and you didn’t take it” and no one can look at me and say I am not ‘sharp’. “
Marissa, should I bin this move or start writing my “Meredith script” to read out to him? Should I roll a die to decide?