Why is that?
by Sandister Tei
Dear Marissa,
Sometimes when I get home from work, I wish I will come home to a man. The moment I step inside Grandma’s house I have my dogs AJ and Kimmyo run to me, biting, licking and wagging their tails. It makes me wonder if a person, my man, will be that excited to see me home. Is that what women with men usually get anyway?
Sometimes when mum upsets me, I dash into my room muttering angrily and I wish there is someone in there that I am going to complain to.
Sometimes I can’t decide to do a ponytail or a bun and mum isn’t there to help me choose, I go to my brother and ask, “Do you like it hanging in a ponytail or you like it in a bun?” Sometimes I wish I didn’t have to ask him.
Sometimes I really want to go out in the evenings with someone. Only that they should be prepared to have a “silent” date. This is because I can be annoyingly quiet when I am processing thousand terabytes of information in my head. I don’t want to hear that famous question, “Are you ok?” I want someone who just sees me being me and he knows there’s nothing wrong with my silence.
Sometimes I walk out of my room with a tech question or idea on my mind. I look at mum … nah. I look at Grandma … tsk. I go to my brother, and if it’s not about the iPhone or Windows basics, I might as well go back.
Sometimes I need a hug. Mum will say she’s menopausal and experiencing hot flashes. The most you’ll get is your head on half her lap if that is comfortable enough for you.
Sometimes … 
Marissa I know this woman. She got a man, she even got him to put a ring on it. But, she still doesn’t have someone at home with her to be excited about her.
When she is upset, he is there alright but a listening ear he won’t give.
Her man is very much at home with her, but she’d come ask me how she’s looking. “Is the yellow too bright or the lipstick too loud?” She will ask.
There’s only one thing I know she demands from her hubby to the best of my knowledge. That, she ain’t getting either. She can sulk down the heavens. Everyone knows what is wrong with her but husband- do- little doesn’t seem to know or care.
Perhaps they converse inside, but in public no. They have nothing to talk about.
PDA? It must snow in hell first.
I won’t sit here and lie that she is perfect or near perfect. But even if she was a witch, I know there is a wizard out there waiting to take her as she is.
I don’t have a man, she got one but we are almost the same. So what is the use of the man in their relationship now?
Marissa, what is your use in any relationship you are now? Why are you a wife, a daughter, employee, friend etc ? What is your use? You are there with the title and you are not living up to the “job description” so what wtf are you doing there?
If you are also at the receiving end as the person who gets to bear non functional people in your life, I am asking, what are they still doing there with you?
Sometimes mum gets frustrated at how remote I am. She doesn’t understand why I am constantly hiding in my room sitting behind my PC. Sometimes I want to blurt out, “The PC quite understands what it’s in my life for.” But I can’t talk to her like that, I just dismiss the question.
Marissa we all invest in things that we have high expectations of. But when we get those things, sometimes life doesn’t change for the better.
Why is that? Huh? Why?
…and here i was having a bright sunny day. Until i read this. And then my reverie was torn asunder by thunder clouds as black as night.
Loool. Say what?! Thanks for reading “Someone”
Loool. Say what?! Thanks for reading “Someone”
Why is that btw?
still d smartest gurl i’v eva known in me life! breathtaking, piece after piece. never cease to touch the heart, never cease to impress…i envy u. lol!
O! Thanks for reading.
Its true that sometimes we get things we’ve always yearned for and yet….life doesn’t better…I believe expectations go up after every accomplishment. Nonetheless, Its the hard truth, a very good read if you ask me
Thank you
i share your sentiments. it as if sometimes you think the only man you can live with must be a masculine “you” lol. but its true that there are always two sides to a coin. its called a relationship for a reason (whichever type it is). someone once told me that we should treat others as they wanna be treated and not how we expect to be treated. that way we get what we want and so do they. but that will only work if ppl understand this and practice it. which is where the problem lies.congratulations this is a beautiful piece
A good comment “treat others as they wanna be treated and not how we expect to be treated.” Got me thinking and listing things from my relationship from both sides. It is difficult to do as we both want conflicting sides of the same thing so we both don’t get treated the way we wish. sigh.
Thanks for reading
Thank you Miss JanJan. That statement about “the only man you can live with must be a masculine ‘you’ ” got me thinking.
really it did? its what i think and feel sometimes when some men are being jerks. the aim is to find someone you get along with and who’s flaws you can live with. but sometimes we aren’t given the chance to do that simply because these ppl are in different places in their lives. so then you feel so many different wrong things and even think you are the problem. so you fix everything that could be possibly wrong and it remains the same. and especially in africa the men never think they are the problem cos they’ll be called gay for taking care of themselves. smh call it a plague cos it gone past disease.