I remember telling my first boyfriend he was the first man I had ever kissed. And he is. But he wasn’t the first person I had ever kissed. Before age 10 I had french- kissed a female, one of my childhood playmates several times. We weren’t allowed to play with the boys or bathe with them. We weren’t allowed to show them our underwear. As females we had only each other. I always had the impression it was better to get caught by Mother kissing a girl than kissing a boy. She might smack me a little less harder.
Until senior high when some girls were sacked from school for lesbianism, no one had informed me there was something wrong with woman on woman or man on man. Perhaps society, especially my mother was waiting for me to intuitively know. But I didn’t quite consider that. I liked the boys but if I found a female attractive, I never hesitated to admire. I took that liberty.
I had a poor impression of men for a long time. I thought they were troublemakers. They are only fit to help women make children. I saw Mother take the most important decisions and lead the most important steps in my life. Dad remained in the back. Grandma was the same kind of woman. I knew nothing of my grandfathers. Suddenly I wanted to marry a woman.
I grew out of all that. When or how I don’t know. Sometimes I wonder if lesbianism wasn’t a sin in my religion, would I consider being with a woman? In the spirit of Oye Lithursm, my answer is personal and will not be shared. But do I agree to same-sex marriages? Again, my answer is personal.
Marissa I decided to provoke sentiments on the topic yesterday in our ride to work. Mum and my big brother vehemently said no to gay acceptance. Mum said it was sin. TT said seeing men kissing is one of the appalling things about London he’s glad he left behind. Mum said Ghana will be cursed if we took to it. “Too much sin will climb up to God”. But I played the advocate and said women have fought for their rights and are now doing things they shouldn’t do according to the Bible. Isn’t all that sin “climbing up to God”? Mother said a woman indecently dressed or a woman on the pulpit hurts no one by going there. Now I am asking you Marissa, how does two men kissing hurt anybody? As the argument went on both T and Mother had no strong reasons why gays shouldn’t be allowed to operate except for sin.
If that be the case, right after abolishing it in the constitution, adultery and fornication should be punishable by law like incest and bestiality.
Sin? For who?
Everybody is talking about same-sex marriage being sin. Ghana is a Christian state founded on Christian principles eh? Before Christianity the traditionalists were here so they have a say in the matter. Muslims also have a stake in Ghanaian religion. Have I missed any major group? Let me know. With these big three, none support this same-sex affair. But if Ghana is going to accommodate many more liberal religions and atheism, then there is a loop hole for the same-sex agenda. Obviously you can be Ghanaian and atheist. You have no regard for God or his principles how then are you subject to what is sin and what is not? If to have no religion is your religion, you can’t be measured by another religion’s yardstick.
And Marissa can there be such a thing as a gay Christian? It doesn’t seem to work that way. If God so loved gay acts why did he condemn what they wanted to do in Genesis 19 and other instances? Or has he changed His mind since the Old Testament? If I am having sex unmarried saying virginity is old fashioned, then isn’t anti same-sex marriage old fashioned? Is there a difference between a Christian who backslides and sins, and one living in perpetual sin? But then aren’t the majority of us perpetual sinners? This sin matter at all can it hold in an intellectual argument?
Don’t judge one until you meet one
I have had the opportunity of being around a gay man. He was cool Marissa. Nothing wrong here. I should confess that knowing he is gay made me comfortable around him. After all he “had teeth” but he couldn’t bite me so I didn’t mind him massaging me. I think I let him straddle me too. I liked him back then I still do. He is normal. Maybe his mannerisms are softer for a man but you only mind when you choose to. They are human beings like us who just want a different lifestyle. How do we go about condemning what they do and not they themselves? Is it possible to do that?
An issue of human rights
According to my uncle a married woman secretly got married again to her lesbian partner. Her husband found out earlier and went to the ceremony with a gang. They disrupted the ceremony but then it deteriorated into a raid so they beat up the lesbians, took mobile phones and money and other booty and left. The lesbians couldn’t report this issue to the police or anyone for obvious reasons. Now for this, I do not agree. The women that were assaulted should have gotten justice. Even a common thief in Makola can find protection in police custody away from those pursuing him. Is a thief in the market place more of a human than a lesbian?
I haven’t said no or yes to gays because I am more concerned about the hypocrisy. If you want to arrest two men kissing as the man that impregnated his daughter or one that had sex with a goat, then kindly arrest the fornicators and adulterers.
Also, should Ghana ever allow atheists or liberal religions a stake in the constitution, we should note they are not bound by laws concerning Christian and Islamic sin. Gay people on that note should be accepted. But on the issue of being assaulted like the women, I think that should move to infringing on someone’s human rights and not a gay matter.
What do you think?