Often we solicit advice. No man is an island they say. If you want to master living, you have to learn from those that have gone ahead of you and learn from their mistakes. You need not make all of your own just to learn. However Marissa there is a line, a thin one, between getting good advice and being mislead.
I usually have questions out of the blue for people concerning relationships. “Edem, would you leave Ghana to be with your husband, if it came to it?” “Mum, how secretive should you be in a relationship?”
Sometimes I don’t do the asking. I am rather asked. But with these experiences I have noticed people who are somewhat broken have different views from those that are happy with their partners. Some however have been through a lot but nonetheless they aren’t blinded by pain. They are objective and the spade is called a spade.
I am more particular about views from people still stuck in their pain. These are people who don’t even realize that their exes are still haunting them. Love like religion and politics are subjects that are useless to argue over with the aim of coming to a consensus. People will always carry their own views based on their experiences.
Marissa I am beating about the bush … The thing is I sorta told someone off for something I assumed he could have done. I accused him of something under the influence of what someone had said and now I know sey I blast*. And you know just because of his past, I gave him no chance to explain himself. I wouldn’t even listen. You know I am not naive, I know we are all capable of things even those we are wrongly accused of. However it is always best to trust in people we have decided to love. Until they do something wrong and you catch them at it, I think you should give them a break.
Marissa trust is a decision. It doesn’t come automatically especially when you have lived longer and you know how awful human beings can be. So now I feel if you are “waiting” to trust, then you never will. But even more so if you are full of mistrust for another based on what another has said, then you might be making a big mistake. And please I am only talking for relationships between these men and women that we love and ourselves.
There are some of your friends you should be tired of listening to by now. “As for me” “Me deɛ” “Oh by now he’s with another girl” “That chick, she be sᴐm*way” Bla bla bla bla … All just because they have had it bad previously.
Marissa despite the negative aspect of listening to others, I know there are men or women who have been saved by advice. So the question now remains, where do you draw the line? Between getting good advice and washing your linen in public only to get feedback from those who don’t know how to wash theirs?
Trust … is a decision and I did decide to trust and on two consecutive occasions I was let down. One was abysmal — a total April Fool made out of me. The other, I had it coming. But even with these I still advice, if you have to rely on others’ assumptions, not even eye witnessing but assumptions, then you will have a problem.
Until this false accusation got me into trouble, I thought the idiots in my past were gone. But Marissa they don’t go entirely because you are afraid to have your time wasted again. That makes you vulnerable and so the moment your advisor ignites suspicion, you are already on fire, burning what it has taken you time to build.
Marissa read sentence 4 of paragraph 6 again. Italicized for you. And yeah Marissa I can hear you saying it now. Shame on you Sandister, shame on you.
If you didn’t get the * words
*SϽm way — Some way (usually used to replace “inappropriate” in Ghanaian pidgin English)
*Blast — A term in Ghanaian pidgin English, used as a verb intransitively often. It means to have done something wrongly especially in an embarrassing way. It could be the equivalent of “epic fail”