Dear Marissa,
Trending in Facebook newsfeeds these days are statuses about unrequited love. I should say such statuses attract comments and ‘likes’ a lot. It is one bitter complain after the other. It seems people are getting fed up with friends, lovers, acquaintances and family members who they give their attention and love to but get none or not as much in return.
It is a fact that sometimes, others won’t be interested in you as you are in them. The reasons maybe that they don’t know you or they don’t like you. Sometimes it’s not about you, rather, they are just not friendly. Others are simply on their high horses and they are not coming down for your sake. They derive their self- esteem from knowing that they are sought- after, from playing hard to get and having their clingy friends follow them all over the place.
In love and friendship when these things happen the people on the giving end of the love and attention are the insecure ones and later, the disappointed ones. Insecure people always count on the attention of others. The want to feel wanted and loved and often they pick the wrong people for that job.
You and I have had our fair share of people we were crazy about but didn’t want or love us back; men and women, family and friends alike. But I must confess that as many people who have turned us down, many more have we also turned down. It’s a do me, I do you affair but it is all but intentional. A friend once said it is a miracle when two or more people like each other at the same time to want to be friends or involved on any level, because often, feelings might painfully not be mutual.
Mari, if you are unfortunate enough to be in such a relationship get ready to become a nag because you are the one apparently asking for attention the other can do without. You will send ten texts and they reply with one if you are lucky. You are all working people but they never have time to do their part. They are too busy, busier than the devil. It makes it look like it is you who has to get a life. I have been there before so I know what I am talking about.
However Mari baby, no shaking. It’s all about knowing how these things work so you don’t start thinking there’s something wrong with you just yet. Because when somebody wants you, they don’t have to say jack, they need not, their actions will show and show and show. They are never gone for too long without any clear and tangible reason. As soon as you think about them they suddenly call, show up in the facebook chat or visit. The Twi say ‘ƆdƆ kƆ nea ƆdƆ wƆ , your destinies as friends or lovers are intertwined, you call on them in thought, the universe transmits that and they come running to you and you also run out to meet them halfway. Yes, we maybe attracted to those who don’t love us or we make people who don’t deserve to be, our priorities but it is only a matter of time for unrequited love to wane and fade. Ooooh yes it does.
Marissa let me get straight to the point. There are some people in my life I have to give more attention or they will stop loving me. I also have to get rid of others as well. It’s an effort to promote my quid pro quo, love for love philosophy.
Gurl, let’s stop pretending we can love without being loved and let’s stop treating people like dirt. It’s not sustainable. God is the one with all the love but even He requires some devotion from us; so how much more humans?
Give… take
Give… take
Give… take
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